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Resistance is contextual—in some situations, we absolutely need it. Though meant metaphorically, Maya Lin’s quote from Wednesday is accurate: “To fly we have to have resistance.” The physics is more complicated than I can understand, but brilliant engineers figured out how to design wings that can use wind resistance to lift an airplane into the sky.
In the walls of our arterioles, the small blood vessels that travel everywhere in our bodies, smooth muscle tension creates vascular resistance that modulates our blood pressure. Without it, our pressures can plummet and cause us to faint.
Although it’s my least favorite form of exercise, resistance training is the only way to stay physically strong and curb the loss in muscle mass that happens as we age. I’ve searched the internet trying to determine the least number of reps and sets I can get away with and still maintain strength. Unfortunately, whether you choose low reps with heavy weights or many reps with light resistance, it has to be uncomfortable to be effective. If it’s too easy, you haven’t introduced enough stress to induce muscle adaptation. And even if you develop a consistent routine, the resistance must continually be adjusted or you’ll plateau, and the effort won’t be worth it.
On the other hand, as Carrie pointed out in her comments on Monday, when it comes to building our spiritual muscle, resistance doesn’t make us stronger, it instead “leads to suffering and doesn’t change what is.”
This is the central message in the four noble truths of Buddhism—the root of our discontent is attachment to our desires and conceptions of how we think things should be. I’m reminded of the only sentence I recall from reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now when it came out in the 90s: “Surrender to what is.”
A simple statement, but a difficult practice.
There is another form of resistance that’s on our minds at the moment—the cancer cells in Walter’s enlarged lymph node indicate his disease has become resistant to the first-line chemotherapy.
What is the right approach in the face of this? Is it possible to surrender without giving up?
From a physical standpoint, alternative chemotherapy regimens have higher toxicity with lower rates of success, unfavorably tipping the balance between helpfulness and harm.
From a spiritual standpoint, surrender is undoubtedly the proper attitude—to use surrender as a stepping stone to trust. And yet, this is so difficult when there’s one outcome we fervently want. I’m familiar with the spiritually evolved who can accept death with equanimity, as natural and inevitable in the cycle of life, but I have a very long way to go.
We’ve decided to try an experimental option that super charges his immune cells, exposing them to tumor antigens so they develop the equivalent of antibodies that will recognize the tumors cells as foreign invaders to be eliminated. As you read this, his healthy cells are being expanded in a lab to have millions that will be re-infused in two sessions over the next few weeks. The vet said the science is still uncertain, but they’ve had several surprising successes with dogs like Walter. They speculate it may be better that he’s not in complete remission, because his immune cells are also being exposed to cancer fragments that are specific to what is circulating in his body. Can there be a silver lining to tumor resistance?
Rather than escalating the battle and its collateral damage, this approach feels like a martial arts maneuver to neutralize an oncoming force by turning it back on itself.
Meanwhile, I will do my best to release my resistance, surrender to what is and whatever the outcome will be.
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Like you, for me- letting go is easier after you’ve turned over every stone. Walter is so fortunate to have you as his trusted stewards in his life’s journey. Every day is a gift.
Sending light and love to Walter and you, and best wishes for strength and healing. 💛